9th November - Sundays; For rest and relaxation, not for fighting the elements

Yesterday was a day from paradise. It was beautiful and sunny and I actually managed to mow the lawns. Ever heard of calm before the storm? I should have known.

My sister went back to the UK on Thursday and I have been trying to find my rhythm. I haven't lived on my own since I was 29, that's nearly 10 years, and even then it was for only 3 months. I used to mow the lawns for my parents when I was a young teenager, it was my solace, my way of escaping from my head. So I went back in time to try to console myself from this solitude. I was scared.

Today, Sunday, was a different story, the rain set in but I was secretly pleased with myself for anticipating this and finishing my mowing. The wind got up, as it does on these hills. It whips through the valley and across the fields, once sheltered by several oak trees the farmer cut down. It's probably the wood that I am burning now to keep warm. I have a short journey to get to my caravan which is lit by torch or by the moonlight. There was certainly no moonlight tonight, just rain, travelling sideways. I had stayed indoors until very late, not wanting to go out but the need for sleep caught up with me and I decided to give in. The boys, (my two dogs) just weren't interested in going from what seems to them a warm haven to this madness outside. I willed them, and we ran to the caravan and shut the door. The noise was incredible, the rain sounded like small pebbles hitting the roof and the cable for my electricity slapped the roof with abandon like a jockey slapping the hind of his winning steed. Sleep was impossible with all the ruckus, I consoled myself with a DVD on my laptop in an effort to ignore what was going on inside.

3am came and I had still not slept, for the last hour the wind had really gained momentum, and the shell of my caravan was whining. I was actually terrified, I imagined all sorts of objects flying in through the windows; slates, sheet metal, wooden panelling. I was considering going back into the house when I heard a thwack, my awning started to slap against the side of the caravan. The poles were thrashing and hitting the windows and the flaps rucking and beating against themselves in the gusts of hurricane conditions. There was no other choice, I had to go out and see what was going on. In just my t-shirt, underwear and work boots I had the torch in one hand and my head in the other. The whole awning, although still attached to the caravan, was thrashing around as though Mother Nature was eating it up and spitting it out. I had a picnic table, and some picnic chairs with various items on and some boxes from the van that I still hadn't unpacked yet. The whole lot was turned upside down, I had no idea what had blown away. Fortunately I had an outside light, which I put on and grabbed of the awning what I could the stop the whole lot from sailing off into the distant black fields. I held onto to one corner which made matters worse and rest bulged and raised up throwing the poles into all directions I could see one had snapped and this made them lethal weapons which I had to dodge. There was only one thing for it. Put the dishwasher on the lose flaps and hope for the best.

I hadn't found a home for my dishwasher yet. So it was sitting tidily outside the caravan, covered with a piece of carpet. I hadn't moved it because it was heavy, and at the time I couldn't be arsed. Tonight, I had to lift it, there was no choice. I managed to pin down the two front flaps with my foot and I picked the dishwasher up and plonked it on the join. It seemed to do the trick. I settled the poles down and the rest I looked at and laughed, there was nothing much I could do but hope that it would stay there until morning, well, daylight. I returned into the dry, my dogs were bothered by the rush of wind as I opened the door and with my frozen legs and hair up on end I tried to settle down. The wind died about half an hour after I challenged her. Respite, I could finally sleep.